history → bobby kennedy

and i will miss the train ride in

☼ I am officially done with this semester! It's been a long one so I'm grateful it's done. (I technically have one more class tomorrow morning to discuss the end of W&P but since I've finished, I don't need to do anything else.) So let's talk about this semester a bit, hm?

American Frontier and Spirit from Anastasia Crittenton on Vimeo.



So this is the video my group and I made for our final in our Survey of American Cinema class. Each group got a theme at the start of semester and we get the American Frontier and Spirit. We started out with several ideas (breaking out of the western idea, playing with the hero's journey) and eventually went with the Frontier of the 1960s so that's what this video is all about, using the films Easy Rider, Bonnie and Clyde, To Kill A Mockingbird, and Star Wars. So go ahead and check it out if you want! As a trigger warning, there is violence and we do use footage from JFK and Bobby's assassinations (we actually got some gasps in class when we showed it). Also, I desperately wanted to end the video on Atticus but alas, it didn't work out~

I also finished my last paper last night — the final paper for my independent study on television fandom! I ended up writing a paper on the relationship between fans and the cast and crew and arguing that a supportive, open relationship between the two benefits both parties and the show itself. I talked about Chuck, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Steven Moffat, LOST, and Firefly, while mentioning some others. I loved that I was able to do this independent study. :)

☼ As I said, this semester has been the longest and toughest of any semester so far for me for a myriad of reasons I don't want to get into right now (mostly because I've been doing well at beating them all and so I don't want to dwell). Interestingly, War & Peace actually has a really good impact on me and sort of helped me through it all.

Also my class was surprised to learn that I agree with them that Andrei can be a selfish dick. Because I can't possibly love a character and still be aware of their flaws, noooooooo.

[Russian literature feels oh god help]
→ I really did love this book and I will be the first to admit that I thought I was going to be lukewarm about it or that it could never compare to Dostoyevsky and yet I connected with it in ways I never thought I would. It feels to me that I just happened to read it at the right time in my life and while it was for class, I ended up enjoying it so much that it didn't feel like it was for class anymore.

What I loved most about were all the rich characters. They were so delightful and infuriating and human and I loved all the numerous relationships of all kinds. They were really what made this novel so wonderful to me which is why when Tolstoy would occasionally go on his own rants about philosophy, I got a little weary. Especially with the second epilogue which ended the novel so abruptly. Sometimes the philosophizing was interesting but other times it felt a little like pandering. Mostly because a lot of main characters are representations of philosophy themselves (especially Pierre as Hegel and Andrei as Kant) so I liked when he used them to show us philosophy, rather than telling us as he often did.

Still, I am so so glad I read this book. And I absolutely believe it'll be a book I read again in my life.

→ SO PRINCE ANDREI BOLKONSKY MY HEART MY LOVE MY DARLING ♥♥♥ As I said above, I am fully aware of his flaws. He is incredibly selfish and quite aloof and out of touch with his emotions. I don't believe he's the villain my class likes to make him out to be (seriously, they pretty much think he's the scum of the earth) but rather what he is is human. And he's just more selfish than they're willing to forgive him for.

However, he was a big reason this book became such an anchor for me. I didn't really see myself in him or anything but just... connecting with him and sympathizing with him, despite his flaws, really helped me this semester. By being nice to him, I was able to be nicer to myself. I think he is really such a wonderful character and I think he had an incredible growth over the course of the novel. His death was definitely hard for me to read, despite how beautifully written it was.

Andrei was interesting for me because I was drawn to him from pretty much the moment we met him, even when he wasn't saying anything at the party. In some way, I just knew he was going to be a special character to me and I just kdfgjhdkfg I have a lot of feelings about this character. He's my typical male character (well, one of the typical types I go for) but he was just so eloquently written by Tolstory, even his flaws had some beauty in the them the way Tolstoy wrote. He remained selfish even through his death and yet he made some important realizations as well. UGH I JUST REALLY REALLY LOVE THIS CHARACTER.

→ I also still love Natasha forever and ever and everrrrrrrrrrr. People who blame her for her affair with Anatole (especially if they don't also blame Anatole and just chalk it up to that being his character), I want to stab them in the face. She is so colorful and lively and wonderful. And that is exactly why I don't like her and Pierre. They did seem happy at the end and I'm glad she seemed at least content with her family life but the fact that Tolstoy flat-out writes that she lost her soul is incredibly tragic. She only rarely sings and there's no light in her eyes anymore and it just really breaks my heart.

She clearly still loves Andrei (after all, if Pierre had reason to be jealous so she never talked about him....) and I think he really was her kind of love of the novel. More than anything, though, I really believe part of Natasha and Pierre getting together was their mutual love of Andrei. The thing that really linked them was how much they both deeply and intensely loved Andrei and I just dkfjghkjdhgdkfg NATASHA BABY

→ I'm still ambivalent on Pierre at best.

→ ANATOLE IS ACTUALLY THE WORST ARRRRRRGGGHHHH H8 U

→ this novel you guys sobbing

→ We also watched the Hollywood version with Audrey Hepburn, Mel Ferrer, and Henry Fonda! It was... delightful but most certainly not W&P. It was Hollywood want to do a romance with Audrey and Mel and Henry in period clothing but it was shallow and lost all of Tolstoy's depth. They're all lovely though. Mel was far too charming for Andrei though, oops.


→ Annnnnd we just watched Woody Allen's Love and Death which I thought was just so so delightful.


☼ I've been having a lot of Harry Potter feelings lately. AND NOT JUST MARAUDERS FEELINGS (though I am, as always, having a lot of feelings about them too). I've just kind of been missing... everything. I want to re-read all the books and re-watch all the movies. In fact I might do that over break — or at least re-read a book or two perhaps. I just really miss the universe and all. End of an Era by Oliver Boyd and Remembralls came on iTunes the other day and I was just having SO MANY FEELINGS. So yes.

I also filled out another app at hh_stamping but this time for my romantic match. Annnnnd it looks like I'm going to get Lily. Remember how I was stamped as James/Sirius? Yeah. MY LIFE I ACTUALLY CAN'T SO DELIGHTFUL. Also A Very Potter Senior Year is a thing that's happening and I can't wait!

☼ So I fly home Wednesday and skypirateb arrives Saturday morning (NOPE NOT READY FOR THIS DON'T TALK TO ME). I feel like I still have so much to do to get ready for errything and have done like no Christmas shopping and this break is going to be so busy but so amazing AND I CAN'T WAIT. Also I'll hopefully be mailing out your Christmas cards at the end of this week! :)

Also, I may post beforehand but I may not: next Monday we're going to Tahoe for a week and won't have internet SO YEAH. ILU ALL.

Catch you later, calculators.


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DIDN'T THINK I'D FORGET THESE GQMFS DID YOU DFKGJHDFKJGHDKJFG YOU GUYS YOU GUYS THE SEQUEL IS UPON US AND SOON THE PRESS TOUR WILL BEGIN SOBBING I CAN'T WAIT I'VE MISSED ALL OF THIS SO MUUUUUHUUUUCH. My only concern rn besides Cumberbatch and his fans is how dark and gritty the trailer looked but JJ apparently addressed this and said it's still a lot of fun. Spock/Uhura better still be flawless and I kinda really hope JJ is just trolling everyone with the Wrath of Khan stuff. ALSO LENSFLARE!!!11!!1
ja → brandon and marianne

literary ladies we love: marianne dashwood


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Marianne Dashwood from Sense and Sensibility for Literary Ladies We Love


There are two main reasons I chose to do Marianne:

• She's my favorite Austen heroine and the one I connect to the most. I truly enjoy all of Austen's heroines but I feel most similar to Marianne and really adore her, flaws and all.
• She gets a lot of unfair heat and I've seen her often considered people's least favorite Austen heroine and while that's totally fine, I do want to address some of the issues people take with her and explain why I love her, despite and because of these issues.

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Furthermore, skypirateb wrote on Elinor Dashwood because we are actually that perfect.
once upon a time → rumpel and belle

when i look in her eyes, i just see the sky

when i look in her eyes, i just see the sky
rumpelstiltskin/belle (once upon a time); nc-17
~4,600 words

in which belle proves herself adept at dealmaking, the tavern has only one available bed, and there is far too much pent up sexual tension in the land of fairytales.

notes: thanks to saturninepen for reading it over. and to lovelysolitude and xinvisiblewings for yelling at me about adventures. also here at ao3. AND HEY LOOK I FINALLY WROTE RUMPELSTILTSKIN INSTEAD OF MR. GOLD.

This is also inspired by this prompt on the kink meme.

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once upon a time → rumpel and belle

i will sing you morning lullabies

i will sing you morning lullabies
mr. gold/belle (once upon a time); r
~2,800 words

It took time, and more than one argument, but eventually she found herself, not surprisingly, falling back into his arms. Now things were better—normal, even.

(Warning: cavity inducing fluff. Seriously. We deserve a reprieve from all the angst we're having to go through right now.)

notes: thanks to saturninepen for helping create mr. thatcher with me. we love him far too much even though he's just an itty bitty part. this is also partially dedicated to zombres to tell her that i love her and am thinking of her and lovelysolitude for being my cheerleader. also here at ao3.

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once upon a time → rumpel and belle

there's a beauty in walking away

there's a beauty in walking away
mr. gold/belle (once upon a time); pg-13
~3,800 words

“Mr. Gold.” Belle speaks hoarsely, her eyes trained on his photo. She considers for a moment. She nods. “I don’t think I want anything to do with him.”

notes: can't stop, won't stop. thanks to the wonderful skypirateb for reading it over despite not being as into the show as me, haha. maybe one day i'll write fic with rumpelstiltskin instead of mr. gold. but today is clearly not that day. though i might have to write something horribly fluffy after i pretty much wrenched my own heart out to write this. you can also find this fic on ao3 here.

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once upon a time → rumpel and belle

an exit door

an exit door
mr. gold/belle (once upon a time); pg-13
~1,800 words
"No, he was no prince but now, now that she was alive and in his arms, he would be anything she wanted him to be."

Mr. Gold finds Regina at the hospital, as well as a secret she had been keeping hidden for years.

notes: thanks to the lovely saturninepen for reading over it. also, i figure reunion fics are going to be this fandom's favorite thing and i'm here to contribute to that! tbh, i'd read every damn reunion fic that came out of the woodwork for these two because it's all i can think of and want out of life right now. and i'm thinking of doing a reunion fic with a dark twist so. you can also find this fic on ao3 here.

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once upon a time → rumpel and belle

whispers that transcend walls

whispers that transcend walls
mr. gold/belle (once upon a time); pg-13
~1,200 words
Sometimes she would cry without realizing it, wake up with a dying scream upon her lips. Other times she would feel nothing at all. He would disappear and reappear and she’d idly wonder if those hands belonged to him. She would trace her fingers over her thigh and imagine it was him, whoever he was; she must have known long ago, she was sure she must have.
notes: thanks to the lovely saturninepen for reading over it and letting me flail and freak out to her about how i had no idea where this came from but it must be written. i have way too many feelings about these two, i had to get them out somehow.

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